For those days that you just can't...
Merriam-Webster Definition: Adult – Adj; Fully developed and mature
Meridian Definition: Adulting – Verb; cringe-worthy activity involving making your own doctors’ appointments, paying bills, going to a job that you may or may not hate, doing your taxes on your own and hoping that you don’t go to prison.
Last week, I saw client who was having a mini meltdown that was all culminated into one sentence: “I can’t adult today.”
Same sis, same.
I don’t think that there is a single person who is reading this blog that hasn’t had that exact sentiment at least once. The idea of getting up and making decisions that will impact your life in a meaningful capacity can be overwhelming AF at times. It seems like one day, we were asking for a hall pass to use the bathroom, and the next we were being asked if we want a credit card with a $7000 limit. We went from our parents signing our report cards to signing on off on yearly performance evaluations that go into our permanent HR file. I don’t know about you, but there are definitely days that I want to do none of those things.
Adulting can be seen as the antithesis of all things joyous. Most children have that freedom to learn through experiences, try new things, make mistakes, and have that safety net of support. One of the most difficult decisions that they are asked to make is what they want to eat for lunch. The older you get, the more you realize just how impactful the consequences of your choices can become.
I saw an article once that said the average adult makes somewhere around 35,000 decisions everyday. THIRTY-FIVE THOUSAND. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. From the time we wake up, we are calculating what to wear, what perfume to use, whether we will have breakfast, what route to take to work. Our brains have been on hyper drive and it has become so routine that we don’t notice it until you are standing in the shower, wondering why you hate everything and just want to take a nap.
You, my friend, are far from alone. I think that we had this grand idea about what it would be to be an adult. I know I was excited to be able to come and go as I please and not have anyone to report to; the freedom was going to be amazing. Very quickly I realized, that freedom I wanted came with responsibilities. Mail was no longer care packages, birthday cards, or postcards. It was bills, jury summons, credit card offers, and junk mail (how do they even know where I live?!). Checking the mailbox quickly went from being an adventure to a dreaded task.
I have had multiple clients who come in and say that they are just tired of talking, tired of making choices. It has become an exhausting task for them, and they find themselves shutting down. Things that seem relatively simple, like choosing what to cook for dinner, turn into panic attacks at the grocery store. Side note: let us all take a second to thank Steamfresh bags for always being there for us, no matter what. We have become paralyzed by indecision.
I know you’re wondering; well how do I fix it then Brianna?? My answer is this – slow TF down and validate yourself. We rush to work, we rush to meetings, we rush to events, we rush home, we rush to bed. We don’t have to live like this. When was the last time you took a mental health day to do nothing? When was the last time you told someone that you couldn’t provide the input they were looking for? If you are anything like many other people, its been quite a while. Maybe it is because you feel guilty when you step away to take care of yourself. Maybe its because you don’t feel like you have that option.
Use this time as a moment of self-reflection. Are you doing too much? Are you exhausted? Are you burned out? Are you annoyed and/or petrified at the idea of picking up the phone to speak to a real-life person and cancel that appointment that you just don’t want to go to? This is my permission slip to you: you don’t have to***. You can do less, and still be okay. You can take a moment to close your door and breathe. You are allowed to take care of yourself.
***Footnote: I just ask that you Do Less mindfully. If you quit your job without savings or a plan, I can’t help you pay your bills, so think it through when you’re planning how you want to avoid stress today!!